Wednesday, January 30, 2013

...genes  (part 1).....

I don't know how, because I rarely missed school.  I was/am one of those strange beings that tend to gravitate towards all things academia.  Almost every subject was interesting to me and I mostly paid attention in all of  my classes. (We'll leave my hate-hate relationship with computer classes for a different post!)

This is why I find myself vaguely confused.  I clearly remember being in my psychology classes when we covered the whole nature vs. nurture debate.   I still have my notes from the biology and anatomy classes I took (sigh, yes, nerd, move on).  Dominant and recessive genes, traits inherited from mothers or fathers, eye color, hair color, height, etc.   Fruit fly projects and plant experiments, DNA, RNA, x vs y chromosomes....I can remember it all.

What I can't remember is the day we covered the specifics on exactly how extended family members transmit their genes over vast distances AFTER the grandchild/niece/nephew has been born. 
Also missing from my notes are the discussions on the specific genetic anomaly known as sarcasm and its likelihood of being the one family trait to be passed on through the phone lines instead of the blood lines.
But I must have missed it.  That is the only explanation I can offer for the conversations I have been having with my pre-teen son recently. At most he gets to see his maternal grandparents twice a year.  Yet he recently has started sounding more and more like his uncle and grandfather.  Not in voice, but in speech patterns.  He and my brothers have more than enough words in their heads to make a phone company's "unlimited talk" plan beg for mercy.  My son and my father both get the same look on their face just before they are going to say something to deliberately provoke whatever woman happens to be in the same room with them. 
Case in point....a recent exchange with said son as I was tediously laboring over the stove to prepare his day-end meal....

Son: Hey're not starting a grease fire over there, are you?

Me:  No, my dearest, sweetest boy.  I am attempting to prepare a gourmet selection of protein and vegetables for your evening repast.  Grease fires are not in my repertoire and I would never, ever do anything to put your life, or your dinner in such jeopardy.

Son: (in perfect reincarnation of uncles and grandfather)  Sure.  That's what they all say.

I am very tempted to throw in the towel now, rather than spend the next six years or so verbally sparring with the genetic equivalent of my son, brothers and father.  Tempted, but not ready to give in to that temptation.   Instead,  I think I will spend the next few years searching through my notes and science texts looking for that elusive paragraph discussing the electronic transmission of the sarcasm gene.  Because he surely doesn't get it from his current environment.
I know I will need that information in the future, if my son can curb his witty genetic predispositions long enough to get married and have children.  Then I will have grandchildren....and a phone....  ;)

I think I have a few years to complete my research, but research I must....

'Cause I missed the class on that!

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