How to have a stress-free vacation.....
or maybe just a stress-free pre-vacation....

How else would you explain my  latest fiasco attempt at jetting away for some fun n' sun?
Maybe it had something to do with the following items that had to be crossed off my "To Do" list before we left....

My top priority was to find my summer clothes....and hope they still fit.....
It is just slightly stress inducing to know that somewhere in the dark recesses of you basement hides a plastic tote full of summer clothes that fit last summer's "Ihadtimetoruntwentymilesaweek" body.  It is even more stress inducing to know that you somehow have to make those packed away clothes fit this spring's "IhadNOtimetogototheYandIworebaggyclothesallwinter" body.  Grrrrr.......
We're not even going to mention  swim suits.....So. Not. Going. There.

Second on my list was to make sure that the house (or at least the kitchen, bathroom, and one bedroom) was clean enough for our house/dog sitter to not have to call the health department before agreeing to spend time in our home.

I then wanted to get as many hours in at work as possible, since I would be gone (and off payroll) for two weeks.  My brain kept calculating how much this vacation was costing me.....not a good prescription for relaxation.

Added to this was the fact that I had sub plans to get ready, a class to teach and some academic commitments for the kids that had to be finished up two weeks early. 

Oh....
and I decided to apply for a job that better fit my skill sets and availability for the summer....
and apply for a different position with our educational group for next fall....
which meant I needed an updated resume and semi-intelligent sounding cover letters.....
which meant me spending time figuring out the extra features on the word processing program....
on the computer....
We all know how fun and relaxing THAT is for me......

Things were going well at about T-minus 4 days before take-off. 
The clothes had been located. (but not tried on....)
The kids had found and packed their own clothes. (you only need 3 pairs of underwear for a 2 week vacation...right????)
I had started my resume. (O.k.  O.k......it only had my name and contact info....but choosing the font type and size are crucial, time-consuming decisions!)
The bathroom sinks had been cleaned out, the lesson plans had been written, schoolwork had been started and all but 8 hours of scheduled time at work had been completed.
With four days left, I had plenty of time to finish the rest of my self-assigned tasks in a calm, relaxed manner.  

HA!
I returned home from work Saturday evening, spent about an hour talking with my husband, and went to bed.
I then proceeded to spend the next 24 hours wondering if I was going to even make it to the bathroom in time, let alone make a flight in 3 days. 
Just in case you were wondering the answer is: No.  Having the stomach flu and trying to keep the kitchen and bathroom "guest" clean are NOT compatible activities.

Also... No. Having the stomach flu and trying to work with computers and word processing programs are NOT mutually beneficial.

And make that a definite NO on having the stomach flu and working 8 hours of retail.
So. Not. Happening.
...but.....
...having the stomach flu for two days and then trying on last summer's clothes???? Yes.  Those two activities can be combined.  

So I spent 36 hours on the couch, not cleaning, writing or packing. I got the basics done.  We got on the plane.  I could finish the typing and e-mailing of resumes on my husband's lap top while we were en route to our vacation destination.   I thought I could just sit and relax on the plane.  I thought I could catch a little nap in my seat.  I thought I would be able to get a chapter of my book read in relative calm and quiet.
I thought, maybe...just maybe... I can begin to unwind....
I thought wrong. 
The man in the seat behind me (father of a 3 year old) turns to the mother across the aisle (travelling with a 9 month old) and says,
"Hey!  Wanna see whose baby gets the loudest screamer award by the end of the flight?"
Nononononononono!
So. Not. Relaxed.
I must have been stressing about vacations when they announced the class on that. 
Sigh