....enjoying the latest techno-trends....
Let me introduce myself. I am the curmudgeon who gripes and complains about the mindless mobs of manic gamers roaming the streets of my town. I am the one who uses words and phrases like "durned whippersnappers" and "uppity upstarts" when referring to those who play your game.
I am also the one who could become your single best weapon in terms of planning the PR campaign for your next update/release of Poke-whatever....
No. Seriously. Stop laughing so hard.
I know I can barely figure out how to answer the incoming calls on my cell phone.
I know I am the one who still insists on writing paper checks and using envelopes and stamps to pay her bills.
And yes, I am the one human left on the planet who still has a land line.
Which makes me the perfect consultant for your next product launch.
You see, us techno-grumps have a unique skill set that you need.
It's called "vision killing" and it will save you countless hours of company time and untold millions in corporate profits as I help you avoid bad publicity and lawsuits associated with the release of your products.
Had you hired me before the launch of your latest, hottest techno-trend I could have helped you with the following situations as they triggered my inner "grump-o-meter".....
Had I been allowed to see that you had (inadvertently, I'm sure) placed Poke stops at places like Arlington National Cemetery or the Holocaust Museum, my in-born, over driven sense of appropriateness would have immediately sounded the alarm and begged you to re-consider that option.
If I had but known in advance that you had alarmingly confused "open to the public" and "public space" (again, honest mistake, I am assuming), I could have helped you locate and apply the legal definitions of public vs private property, trespassing, and personal responsibility.
I would like to make you an offer you can't refuse:
Hire me to be the one who Poke-holes all your ideas before they hit the www.
Hire me to remind you of all the pitfalls and problems that come when you don't Poke-check in with all the private business, organizations, property owners and individuals that were not allowed the option of having Poke-thingys on their lands or persons.
Hire me to help you remember that while you are Poke- possibly contributing a good thing to society, it should never be at the cost of respect and common decency.
Hire me because it will be less expensive than negative PR and the lawsuits you will surely face.
Hire me because I could use the money, and you could obviously use the help of a few curmudgeons.
Hire me, because, while I am all for more family time, exercise, fresh air and foot traffic directed towards some of my favorite non-profits, I do think we can try to achieve these goals without stomping on everyone's Poke-toes in the name of progress and entertainment.
'cause I didn't miss the Poke-class on that ;)