There are very few things that I am allergic to in this world. At least, the kind of allergic that produces hives, shortness of breath and a severe need for an epi-pen.
The Mall is one of those things.
Bathing suits are the other.
More on the why of these facts may come later.
This was my quandary today...my daughter is going to camp.
A camp where swimming is one of the activities.
And she just outgrew her swimsuit 30 seconds before she started packing.
Now, you may be thinking to yourself..."Surely all you had to do is head to your retail job, shop the clearance rack, whip out your stack of discounts and walk away with a $5 bathing suit." And I would totally love to report that those sequence of events happened.
Except it would be a bald faced lie.
In the first place, the suits don't go on clearance for a few more weeks.
In the second place, we are simple people and have few issues with picky eaters or dressers. Unless it comes to bathing suits.
My daughter likes to use her suit to: swim
Shocking, I know. But her suit has to actually have more than 1/16 yd of fabric and stay in place should she decide to do something crazy... like...move...
This eliminates 92% of the bathing suits in the kid's dept and 99% of the bathing suits in the women's dept at my store. (The remaining 1% being suits that even I refuse to wear for at least 20 more years, if at all)
Which left us with two options:
1) Go to the local, over priced sporting goods store that carries suits for people who plan on actually swimming in their pool attire.
2) Go to the mall, where the
The things I do for my children. Sigh.
We went to the sporting goods store and found a suit that fit all her criteria and didn't give me heart palpitations after looking at the price tag. We then searched high and low for a sign to appear that said ALL SUITS 90% off.
We then searched high and low for ANY clearance sign. And found one!
And there were two suits!
Too big. :(
So, I swallowed my couponing, discount hunting pride and brought the full priced suit to the register.
We made our purchase and moped our way to the car where we made the decision to (gulp) head to the mall and see if maybe we could find the same type of suit for less $.
And we went.
And I got out of the car.
And I stepped foot into the
And I did not die.
We made it through two stores before the perfume counters and glossy non-clearance price tags caused my head to start swimming and my breathing to become shallow.
I became so distraught and disoriented that my DD had to remind me which level and entrance we came in and ever so gently escort me to the life-giving fresh air of the parking lot.
We then decided to head for home.
It was on the way home that I realized how I could salvage both the day of shopping and my
I had coupons (of course).
Coupons that matched a cereal sale at the grocery store. The same grocery store that also had a coupon for $3.50 off a gallon of milk if you bought the cereal that was on sale.
And since cereal and milk are the two things we are most definitely NOT allergic to and always using at our house...off we went to the grocery store!
And to make it all better...the cereal boxes had more coupons stuck to them.
Yes, we might have done a little happy dance in the aisle. :)
So we headed home with our coupon cereal:
Our coupon milk:
And tried to recover from the whole ordeal.
I gave my DD strict instructions to NOT take the tags off the full priced bathing suit.
I still have 3 days to find a suit for less $$ And a new, full bag of coupon coffee....
Now don't you fret. I did not leave the cheaper of the two clearance bathing suits on the rack at the sporting goods store. You see...it will be just the right size for camp next year, and it was 75% off.
Cause while I may have slept through it this year, I did not completely miss the class on kids outgrowing their specialized sporting clothes just before they really need them.
And I DO NOT intend to ever have to go to the mall again!
****Even though they should, because I could be their best spokesperson, none of the manufacturers of the pictured products paid me for the mention of their brands.